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ACURA All Cars Usually Require Adjustment
ACURA Americans Can Underestimate Routine Accidents
ACURA Another Case of a Useless Requested Acronym?
ACURA Any Child Understands Real Automobiles
ACURA Automobile Causes Universal Road Accidents
ACURA Awful, Crappy, Unreliable, Rusty Automobile
AUDI Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
AUDI Always Unsafe Designs Implemented
AUDI Another Uninformed Driver Insulted
AUDI Another Useless Device Installed
AUDI Automobile Unsafe Designs, Inc.
BEETLE Battered Everywhere, Expect To Lose Engine
BMW Babbling Mechanical Wench
BMW Bastard Money Wielders
BMW Beastly Monstrous Wonder
BMW Beautiful Masterpieces on Wheels
BMW Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
BMW Big Money Waster
BMW Big Money Works
BMW Black Man's Wheels
BMW Blasphemous Motorized Wreck
BMW Born Moderately Wealthy
BMW Bought My Wife
BMW Break My Wallet
BMW Break My Windows
BMW Bring Me Women
BMW Broken Money Waster
BMW Brutal Money Waster
BMW Broken Monstrous Wonder
BMW Bumbling Mechanical Wretch
BMW Busted My Wallet
BMW But at least my Motor Works
BMW Big Man Wannabe
BUICK Barfed Up Icky Carmel Korn
BUICK Big Ugly Import Car Killer
BUICK Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
BUICK Big Ugly Indestructible Compact Killer
CAPRI Can Any Person Repair It?
CADILLAC Crap A$$ Deville Is Lacking Life And Clutch
CAMARO $15,500, and $17,000 if you trade in your Yugo
CAMARO Can't America Make A Real One?
CHEVROLET Heartbreak of America.
CHEVROLET Car Has Extensive Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips
CHEVROLET Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
CHEVROLET Crappy Hot-Running Engines, Very Rusted Out, Lose Every Time
CHEVY Cheapest Heap Ever enVisioned Yet
CITROEN Crap Interior Terrible Road-holding Owned Entirely by Nutters
CHRYSLER Car Having Really Yucky Stupid Lazy Engine Runs
CHRYSLER Could Have Remained Your Sickly Lame Elderly Relative's
DATSUN Detroit's Angry Towards Sneaky Unscrupulous Nips
DODGE Damn Old Dirty Gas Eater
DODGE Dangerous On Days Gears Engage
DODGE Dead Or Dying Garbage Emitter
DODGE Dear Old Dads Geriatric Express
DODGE Death Overcomes Driver's Generous Ego
DODGE Dem Old Dudes Go Everywhere
DODGE Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
FIAT Failure in Automotive Technology
FIAT Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation
FIAT Fix It Again Tony?
FIAT Fix It All the Time
FIAT F*ck in a Taxi
FIAT F**king Italian Attempt (at) Transportation
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FORD Fault Of R&D
FORD Fast Only Rolling Downhill
FORD Features O.J. and Ron's DNA
FORD Fix Often, Repair Daily
FORD Found On Road Dead
FORD Found On Russian Dump
FORD First On Race Day
FORD First On Recall Day
FORD First On Rust and Deterioration
FORD Fraternal Order of Restored DeSoto's
FORD Forge Old Rancid Donuts
FORD For Only Redneck Drivers
FORD F*cked Over Rebuilt Dodge
FORD F*cker Only Runs Damaged
FORD F*cker Only Runs Downhill
FORD F*ckin' Out-Right Dangerous
FORD F*cking Over-Rated Disaster
FORD F*ckin' Owner Real Dumb!!
FORD (backwards) Driver Returns On Foot
GEO Good Engineering Overlooked
GM General Maintenance
GM General Mistake
GM Good Money (for mechanics)
GMC Garage Man's Companion
GMC Gay Man's Cruiser
GMC General Masturbation Corporation
GMC General Mis Constructed
GMC Generally Mediocre Cars
GMC Get More Chicks
GMC Got More Crap
GMC Gotta Mechanic Coming
GMC Grungy Merchandise
G.T.i. Gay Terd Inspectors
G.T.i. Get There Immediately
G.T.i. Got Tossers Inside
HONDA Had One Never Did Again
HONDA Hand Over Dollars to Asians
HONDA Happy Owners Never Drive Anything else
HONDA Helping Out Nips Destroying America
HONDA Hold Overs Not Doing Anything
HONDA How Odd-No Damn Acceleration
HYUNDAI Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive
IROC I Race Other Cars
IROC I Run Over Children
IROC Italian Retards Out Cruising
JAGUAR Jews And Germans Usually Argue Retail
JAGUAR Junk Always Going Under At Repair Shop
JAGUAR Just Another Gearbox Under Annual Repair
JEEP Jinxed Engine has Extra Parts
JEEP Jump Excitedly in Every Pothole
JEEP Jumps Everything Ever Parked
JEEP Junk Electrical and Emissions Parts
JEEP Junk Engineered, Executed Poorly
JEEP Junk Everyone Eyes for Parts
JEEP Just Eat Every Pickle
JEEP Just Empty Every Pocket
JEEP JUST Enough Engine Power?
JEEP Just Everyone Elses Parts
LTD Lazy Temperamental Device
LTD Leave The Doors
MAZDA Model All Zoids Drive Aimlessly
MAZDA Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along
MAZDA My! Another Zany Detroit Assassin!
MERCEDES Most Every Red Cent Eventually Dissipates, Extinguishing Savings
MERCURY Makes Everyone Really Crave Underpowered, Recalled Yugo
MERCURY Makes Envisioning REAL Car Understandable -- Recalled Yet?
MERCURY Mileage Eventually Ruins Car -- Usually Ruins You
MERCURY Motorists Easily Rate Car (Usually "Real Yo-yo")
MINIBUS Minus Insurance, No Inspection, Beat, Usually Spraypainted
MOPAR Most Often Passed At Races
MOPAR Mostly Old Parts And Rust
MOPAR Mostly Old Paint And Rust
MOPAR Mitsubishi's Over Priced American Replicars
MOPAR My Old Pig Ain't Running
PLYMOUTH Please Lay Your Money Out Under The Hood
PONTIAC Poor Old Ni??er Thinks It's A Cadillac
SAAB Something An Asshole Buys
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People who contributed a good one
¤   Massimo Arpino   ¤   BowTieTrucks   ¤   Jim Gray   ¤   Hicktom   ¤   Steve "Segood"   ¤   Mike "Nunyadam"   ¤   Dan Karnes   ¤   Frank Austin (actually, his son)   ¤   Terry Essary   ¤   Patrick Mangin   ¤   Arthur Ogden   ¤   Adam B.   ¤   Fred Flintstone   ¤   Scott Petricig   ¤   J.C. Wren   ¤

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