TAGLINES
--- One line Freedom of Speech ---
BBSing BBSing
Cars Cars
Computers Computers
Facts of Life Facts of Life
If... If...
Wonder Wonder
Knowings Knowings
Beavis & Butthead Beavis & Butthead
Microsoft Windows Microsoft
Pets Pets
Programming Programming
Relationships Relationships
Religion Religion
Sci-Fi Sci-Fi

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BBSing
  *   A bad day BBSing is better than a good day at work.
  *   A chat has nine lives.
  *   A fool and his money soon becomes a SysOp.
  *   "Any Moderators here?"   <<BANG>>   "Any more?"
  *   "Not tonight honey...  I have a modem."
  *   A modemer's telephone bill knows no bounds....
  *   A user and his leisure time are soon parted.
  *   BBSing is terminal.
  *   Bored at 3:00 a.m.?   PSSSTTT - got a modem?
  *   CRUISING:  19200bps modem and 0.5bps fingers!
  *   Drop your carrier... we have you surrounded!
  *   I believe in The Divine Right of SysOps.
  *   If money talks, Being a SysOp is pretty quiet!
  *   Know what to expect before you connect.
  *   Users: Keep them dry and don't feed them after midnight.

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Cars
  *   Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
  *   Don't Be What You See (as read on Horsetrailer).
  *   Don't drink and park, accidents cause people.
  *   Don't Like My Driving? Dial (800) EAT SHIT
  *   Forget about World Peace... Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!
  *   Friends don't let Friends drive Naked.
  *   Hang up and drive.
  *   Horn broken, watch for finger.
  *   I'd rather be skiing
  *   I'm just driving this way to piss you off.
  *   I Brake for No Apparent Reason.
  *   I May Be Slow, But I'm Ahead of You.
  *   I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather...
          Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
  *   If you can read this, you're too close to my car.
  *   If you don't like my driving, get off the sidewalk!
  *   Keep honking, I'm reloading.
  *   My other car is a stealth bomber.
  *   Stop reading this and watch where you're driving.
  *   Watch My Ass, Not Hers!

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Computers
  *   90% of computer problems are located between
        the keyboard and the chair.
  *   1024x768x256... Sounds like one MEAN woman!
  *   # of Pentiums required to screw in lightbulb = .999999999
  *   "Home" is where the computer is plugged in!
  *   (A)bort  (R)etry  (F)ail  (S)how furry GIF.
  *   (A)bort  (R)etry  (I)nfluence with large hammer.
  *   (A)bort  (R)etry  (S)ell it.
  *   A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click.
  *   C:\ is the root of all directories.
  *   A computer beat me at chess once, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.
  *   Computer (com-pyoo-ter) n.-Incredibly fast idiot!
  *   Computers run on smoke. If it leaks out they won't work.
  *   Don't byte off more than you can view.
  *   Don't put all your hypes in one homepage.
  *   The e-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.
  *   ERROR:  CPU not found.
  *   Fax is stranger than fiction.
  *   Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks.
  *   GUI:  Grab the User In-the-face.
  *   Hi, my name is Annie Key.   Please don't hit me!
  *   Home is where you hang your @
  *   I wish life had a scroll-back buffer.....
  *   IBM - Making Tomorrow's Mistakes Today!!!
  *   IBM = Ice Box Machines.
  *   I parked my harddisk - and got a ticket!
  *   Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice.
  *   Old MacDonald had a computer, with EIA I/O...
  *   Pentium wise; pen and paper foolish.
  *   What boots up must come down.
  *   (Unregistered) <-- World's most popular tagline.
  *   You can't teach a new mouse old clicks.

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Facts of Life
  *   A clean, neat, desk is a sign of a sick mind.
  *   A day without sunshine is like night.
  *   A Dirty Mind is a Terrible Thing to Waste.
  *   A mind is a terrible thing to...  I forget...
  *   Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
  *   Despite the cost of living, it remains popular.
  *   Don't take life seriously - won't get out alive!
  *   Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
  *   I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
  *   I'm on a 30 day diet. So far I've lost about two weeks...
  *   I.R.S: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
  *   Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
  *   The earth is 98% full. Please delete anyone you can.
  *   Speak softly and carry a cell phone.
  *   Success comes in a can.  Failure comes in a can not.
  *   Virtual reality is it's own reward.
  *   Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
  *   We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.

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If...
  *   If all goes well, you've overlooked something!
  *   If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
  *   If Pac-Man would have affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms,
        eating magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music....'
  *   If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.
  *   If evolution were a fact then cats would use can openers.
  *   If it works, rip it apart and find out why!
  *   If the bouncer gets drunk, who throws him out?
  *   If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster...
  *   If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
  *   If woman's place is in the home, why am I always in my car?

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Wonder
  *   Does killing time harm eternity?
  *   Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
  *   Help wanted telepath: you know where to apply
  *   Reality? That's where the pizza delivery guy comes from!
  *   What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
  *   Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
  *   Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of a drive-up ATM?
  *   Why don't you ever see the headline "Physic Wins Lottery"?
  *   Why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly?
  *   Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?

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Knowings
  *   43.3% of statistics are meaningless!
  *   A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
  *   ...and that is how we know the Earth is banana-shaped.
  *   Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
  *   Atomic Bomb - Made in America, Tested in Japan.
  *   Black holes suck.
  *   Blind people don't bungee jump; it scares the dog too much.
  *   Caffeine - the ultimate debugging tool.
  *   "Conclusion":  The place where you got tired of thinking.
  *   Dyslexics of the world - untie!!!
  *   Did you know that SATAN is an anagram for SANTA?
  *   Difference between men & boys is the price of their toys.
  *   Don't make me mad. I haven't any place left in my backyard to bury more bodies.
  *   Drilling for oil is boring.
  *   Governments, like diapers, must be changed often and for the same reasons.
  *   Hard work has a future. Laziness pays off now.
  *   Happiness is a belt-fed weapon.
  *   HELP, HELP The KOTEX is on fire!  TAMP ON it!!
  *   How do you know it's summer in Seattle? The rain's warmer.
  *   I don't care if I am a lemming. I'm NOT going!
  *   I don't do jogging, it makes my beer all foamy.
  *   I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
  *   I have gone out to find myself. If I return before I get back, please ask me to wait.
  *   I'm in search of myself.  Have you seen me anywhere?
  *   I'm not as think as you stoned I am.
  *   I'm out of my mind just now, but please leave a message.
  *   I'm their leader, which way did they go?
  *   Intel used "Pentium" in stead of "586" since 486 + 100 equals 585.999983605
  *   One thing nuclear scientists fear;   "Oops."
  *   Prefix has no suffix, but suffix has a prefix.
  *   Real anarchists play chess without the kings.
  *   Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
  *   There are only three types of people in this world,
        people who can count and people who can't.
  *   There's no place like http://www.home.com
  *   Today is cancelled due to lack of interest!
  *   The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.
  *   The universe is laughing behind your back.

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Beavis & Butthead
  *   Breakin the Law, Breakin the Law, huh huhh.
  *   Hey Beavis, you know we could like, go to jail for this?
  *   Hey Butthead, change it or kill me.
  *   Hey Butthead. Does this suck?
  *   It's over my head. (Beavis) It's under my butt (Butthead).
  *   Manly yes, but Beavis likes it too!
  *   Settle down Beavis.

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Microsoft
  *   A computer without Windows is like a fish without a bicycle.
  *   Air-conditioned environment... do NOT open Windows.
  *   Anti-Mickeys of the world: Unite
  *   Bang on the left side of your computer to restart Windows.
  *   Best way to accelerate Windows? Throw it harder...!
  *   Breaking Windows isn't just for kids anymore....
  *   Can I call you Ms. Dos?
  *   DEVICEHIGH: Your device driver on drugs.
  *   Difference between a virus & windows? Viruses never fail.
  *   DisneyLand: A people trap operated by a mouse.
  *   Does Microsoft mean small and limp?
  *   Double your drive space: Delete Windows!
  *   Error #152 - Windows not found: (C)heer (P)arty (D)ance.
  *   ERROR 0143: Unable to exit Windows. Try the door.
  *   Ever noticed how fast Windows runs? Neither did I.
  *   Friends don't let friends use WinME.
  *   Great groups from little icons grow.
  *   Have time to waste? Get Microsoft Windows 98!
  *   He who laughs last is probably not using Windows.
  *   Hiroshima '45, Cernobyl '87, Windows '95.
  *   How do you want to crash today?
  *   I still miss Windows, but my aim is getting better
  *   I used to have a life, then I got Windows 2000.
  *   I'll never forget the first time I ran Windows, but I'm trying.
  *   In a world without walls and fences, who needs windows and gates?
  *   Microsoft gives you Windows - OS/2 give you the whole house.
  *   My lastest screen-saver: Curtains for Windows.
  *   OS/2 ... Opens up Windows, shuts up Gates.
  *   Out of disk space. Delete Windows? [Y]es [H]ell Yes!
  *   We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.
  *   Windows 3.1: The best $89 solitaire game you can buy.
  *   Windows and DOS: A turtle and it's shell.
  *   Windows NT: Insert wallet into Drive A: and press any key to empty.
  *   Windows: The colorful clown suit for DOS.

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Pets
  *   Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit.
  *   Cats may have 9 lives, but I have 10 bullets.
  *   catalog (n.) - firewood for cats.
  *   Does a radioactive cat have 18 half-lives?
  *   Here kitty, kitty. Play with this nice electric cord.
  *   I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
  *   I love cats... they taste just like chicken.
  *   What do Chickens think we taste like?

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Programming
  *   .ASM programmers drive stick shifts.
  *   COMPUTER PROGRAMMER WANTED
        -- Some Assembly Required.
  *   If it wasn't for C, we would be using BASI, PASAL and OBOL!
  *   I've had BETA days ... and nights!!!
  *   COBOL can be cured with early detection!
  *   COBOL programmers understand why women hate periods.
  *   COBOL.....  (C)ompiles (O)nly (B)ecause (O)f (L)uck
  *   Gentlemen:  Start your debuggers...
  *   Never test for an error you don't know how to handle.
  *   There are 10 kinds of people. Those who know binary code, and those who don't.

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Relationships
  *   A fate worse than death:  To be married alive.
  *   Adopt a teenager while he still knows everything.
  *   Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
  *   Bigamy is one wife too many.  Monogamy is the same thing.
  *   Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.
  *   Madness is hereditary, and you'll get it from your children.
  *   I got a gun for my wife; pretty good trade - huh
  *   I got rid of the kids; the dog was allergic to them.
  *   I married her for her looks, and she's been giving them to me ever since.
  *   Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
  *   Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep

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Religion
  *   667:   Satan's neighbor...
  *   ...and on the 8th day God said: Well, Murphy, now it's your turn.
  *   As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
  *   God created the man and said: "good"
        Then he created the boy and said: "even better"
        Finally he created the woman and said: "2 out of 3 aint that bad".
  *   Noah saved animals from the flood by arcing them!
  *   Lord save me from your followers.
  *   Jesus died for my sins and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.
  *   Jesus loves you... everyone else thinks you're an asshole.
  *   Jesus is coming, everyone look busy.
  *   What year did Jesus think it was?

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Sci-Fi
  *   Are you a Klingon, or is that a turtle on your head?
  *   Beam me up Scotty. This isn't the men's room.
  *   Captain please, not in front of the Klingons.
  *   Damnit Jim, she's dead! Get off of her!
  *   Damnit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a tagline. (Dr. McCoy)
  *   Energize! said Picard and the pink bunny appeared...
  *   He's ALIVE, Jim. Where did I go wrong?
  *   He's dead, Jim. Cripes! Only 73$ & a box of Tic Tacs!
  *   He's dead, Jim. Funny-looking phaser... It says 'CNN'.
  *   He's dead, Jim. Poor devil. Grab his pitch fork, too.
  *   He's dead Jim, Spock took his tricorder, I got his spleen.
  *   He's dead, Jim. That helmet's a pretty blue.
  *   She's dead, Jim. Should we bury her or have some fun?
  *   She's dead, Jim. Still warm, though. Flip ya for her?
  *   The UART's won't take this speed, Captain
  *   Very funny, Scotty. Now beam up my clothes.

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