TAGLINES
--- One line Freedom of Speech ---
BBSing
Cars
Computers
Facts of Life
If...
Wonder
Knowings
Beavis & Butthead
Microsoft
Pets
Programming
Relationships
Religion
Sci-Fi
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BBSing
* A bad day BBSing is better than a good day at work.
* A chat has nine lives.
* A fool and his money soon becomes a SysOp.
* "Any Moderators here?" <<BANG>> "Any more?"
* "Not tonight honey... I have a modem."
* A modemer's telephone bill knows no bounds....
* A user and his leisure time are soon parted.
* BBSing is terminal.
* Bored at 3:00 a.m.? PSSSTTT - got a modem?
* CRUISING: 19200bps modem and 0.5bps fingers!
* Drop your carrier... we have you surrounded!
* I believe in The Divine Right of SysOps.
* If money talks, Being a SysOp is pretty quiet!
* Know what to expect before you connect.
* Users: Keep them dry and don't feed them after midnight.
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Cars
* Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
* Don't Be What You See (as read on Horsetrailer).
* Don't drink and park, accidents cause people.
* Don't Like My Driving? Dial (800) EAT SHIT
* Forget about World Peace... Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!
* Friends don't let Friends drive Naked.
* Hang up and drive.
* Horn broken, watch for finger.
* I'd rather be skiing
* I'm just driving this way to piss you off.
* I Brake for No Apparent Reason.
* I May Be Slow, But I'm Ahead of You.
* I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather...
Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
* If you can read this, you're too close to my car.
* If you don't like my driving, get off the sidewalk!
* Keep honking, I'm reloading.
* My other car is a stealth bomber.
* Stop reading this and watch where you're driving.
* Watch My Ass, Not Hers!
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Computers
* 90% of computer problems are located between
the keyboard and the chair.
* 1024x768x256... Sounds like one MEAN woman!
* # of Pentiums required to screw in lightbulb = .999999999
* "Home" is where the computer is plugged in!
* (A)bort (R)etry (F)ail (S)how furry GIF.
* (A)bort (R)etry (I)nfluence with large hammer.
* (A)bort (R)etry (S)ell it.
* A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click.
* C:\ is the root of all directories.
* A computer beat me at chess once, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.
* Computer (com-pyoo-ter) n.-Incredibly fast idiot!
* Computers run on smoke. If it leaks out they won't work.
* Don't byte off more than you can view.
* Don't put all your hypes in one homepage.
* The e-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.
* ERROR: CPU not found.
* Fax is stranger than fiction.
* Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks.
* GUI: Grab the User In-the-face.
* Hi, my name is Annie Key. Please don't hit me!
* Home is where you hang your @
* I wish life had a scroll-back buffer.....
* IBM - Making Tomorrow's Mistakes Today!!!
* IBM = Ice Box Machines.
* I parked my harddisk - and got a ticket!
* Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice.
* Old MacDonald had a computer, with EIA I/O...
* Pentium wise; pen and paper foolish.
* What boots up must come down.
* (Unregistered) <-- World's most popular tagline.
* You can't teach a new mouse old clicks.
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Facts of Life
* A clean, neat, desk is a sign of a sick mind.
* A day without sunshine is like night.
* A Dirty Mind is a Terrible Thing to Waste.
* A mind is a terrible thing to... I forget...
* Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
* Despite the cost of living, it remains popular.
* Don't take life seriously - won't get out alive!
* Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
* I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
* I'm on a 30 day diet. So far I've lost about two weeks...
* I.R.S: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
* Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
* The earth is 98% full. Please delete anyone you can.
* Speak softly and carry a cell phone.
* Success comes in a can. Failure comes in a can not.
* Virtual reality is it's own reward.
* Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
* We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
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If...
* If all goes well, you've overlooked something!
* If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
* If Pac-Man would have affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms,
eating magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music....'
* If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.
* If evolution were a fact then cats would use can openers.
* If it works, rip it apart and find out why!
* If the bouncer gets drunk, who throws him out?
* If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster...
* If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
* If woman's place is in the home, why am I always in my car?
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Wonder
* Does killing time harm eternity?
* Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
* Help wanted telepath: you know where to apply
* Reality? That's where the pizza delivery guy comes from!
* What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
* Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
* Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of a drive-up ATM?
* Why don't you ever see the headline "Physic Wins Lottery"?
* Why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly?
* Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?
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Knowings
* 43.3% of statistics are meaningless!
* A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
* ...and that is how we know the Earth is banana-shaped.
* Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
* Atomic Bomb - Made in America, Tested in Japan.
* Black holes suck.
* Blind people don't bungee jump; it scares the dog too much.
* Caffeine - the ultimate debugging tool.
* "Conclusion": The place where you got tired of thinking.
* Dyslexics of the world - untie!!!
* Did you know that SATAN is an anagram for SANTA?
* Difference between men & boys is the price of their toys.
* Don't make me mad. I haven't any place left in my backyard to bury more bodies.
* Drilling for oil is boring.
* Governments, like diapers, must be changed often and for the same reasons.
* Hard work has a future. Laziness pays off now.
* Happiness is a belt-fed weapon.
* HELP, HELP The KOTEX is on fire! TAMP ON it!!
* How do you know it's summer in Seattle? The rain's warmer.
* I don't care if I am a lemming. I'm NOT going!
* I don't do jogging, it makes my beer all foamy.
* I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
* I have gone out to find myself. If I return before I get back, please ask me to wait.
* I'm in search of myself. Have you seen me anywhere?
* I'm not as think as you stoned I am.
* I'm out of my mind just now, but please leave a message.
* I'm their leader, which way did they go?
* Intel used "Pentium" in stead of "586" since 486 + 100 equals 585.999983605
* One thing nuclear scientists fear; "Oops."
* Prefix has no suffix, but suffix has a prefix.
* Real anarchists play chess without the kings.
* Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
* There are only three types of people in this world,
people who can count and people who can't.
* There's no place like http://www.home.com
* Today is cancelled due to lack of interest!
* The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.
* The universe is laughing behind your back.
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Beavis & Butthead
* Breakin the Law, Breakin the Law, huh huhh.
* Hey Beavis, you know we could like, go to jail for this?
* Hey Butthead, change it or kill me.
* Hey Butthead. Does this suck?
* It's over my head. (Beavis) It's under my butt (Butthead).
* Manly yes, but Beavis likes it too!
* Settle down Beavis.
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Microsoft
* A computer without Windows is like a fish without a bicycle.
* Air-conditioned environment... do NOT open Windows.
* Anti-Mickeys of the world: Unite
* Bang on the left side of your computer to restart Windows.
* Best way to accelerate Windows? Throw it harder...!
* Breaking Windows isn't just for kids anymore....
* Can I call you Ms. Dos?
* DEVICEHIGH: Your device driver on drugs.
* Difference between a virus & windows? Viruses never fail.
* DisneyLand: A people trap operated by a mouse.
* Does Microsoft mean small and limp?
* Double your drive space: Delete Windows!
* Error #152 - Windows not found: (C)heer (P)arty (D)ance.
* ERROR 0143: Unable to exit Windows. Try the door.
* Ever noticed how fast Windows runs? Neither did I.
* Friends don't let friends use WinME.
* Great groups from little icons grow.
* Have time to waste? Get Microsoft Windows 98!
* He who laughs last is probably not using Windows.
* Hiroshima '45, Cernobyl '87, Windows '95.
* How do you want to crash today?
* I still miss Windows, but my aim is getting better
* I used to have a life, then I got Windows 2000.
* I'll never forget the first time I ran Windows, but I'm trying.
* In a world without walls and fences, who needs windows and gates?
* Microsoft gives you Windows - OS/2 give you the whole house.
* My lastest screen-saver: Curtains for Windows.
* OS/2 ... Opens up Windows, shuts up Gates.
* Out of disk space. Delete Windows? [Y]es [H]ell Yes!
* We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.
* Windows 3.1: The best $89 solitaire game you can buy.
* Windows and DOS: A turtle and it's shell.
* Windows NT: Insert wallet into Drive A: and press any key to empty.
* Windows: The colorful clown suit for DOS.
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Pets
* Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit.
* Cats may have 9 lives, but I have 10 bullets.
* catalog (n.) - firewood for cats.
* Does a radioactive cat have 18 half-lives?
* Here kitty, kitty. Play with this nice electric cord.
* I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
* I love cats... they taste just like chicken.
* What do Chickens think we taste like?
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Programming
* .ASM programmers drive stick shifts.
* COMPUTER PROGRAMMER WANTED
-- Some Assembly Required.
* If it wasn't for C, we would be using BASI, PASAL and OBOL!
* I've had BETA days ... and nights!!!
* COBOL can be cured with early detection!
* COBOL programmers understand why women hate periods.
* COBOL..... (C)ompiles (O)nly (B)ecause (O)f (L)uck
* Gentlemen: Start your debuggers...
* Never test for an error you don't know how to handle.
* There are 10 kinds of people. Those who know binary code, and those who don't.
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Relationships
* A fate worse than death: To be married alive.
* Adopt a teenager while he still knows everything.
* Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
* Bigamy is one wife too many. Monogamy is the same thing.
* Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.
* Madness is hereditary, and you'll get it from your children.
* I got a gun for my wife; pretty good trade - huh
* I got rid of the kids; the dog was allergic to them.
* I married her for her looks, and she's been giving them to me ever since.
* Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.
* Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep
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Religion
* 667: Satan's neighbor...
* ...and on the 8th day God said: Well, Murphy, now it's your turn.
* As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
* God created the man and said: "good"
Then he created the boy and said: "even better"
Finally he created the woman and said: "2 out of 3 aint that bad".
* Noah saved animals from the flood by arcing them!
* Lord save me from your followers.
* Jesus died for my sins and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.
* Jesus loves you... everyone else thinks you're an asshole.
* Jesus is coming, everyone look busy.
* What year did Jesus think it was?
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Sci-Fi
* Are you a Klingon, or is that a turtle on your head?
* Beam me up Scotty. This isn't the men's room.
* Captain please, not in front of the Klingons.
* Damnit Jim, she's dead! Get off of her!
* Damnit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a tagline. (Dr. McCoy)
* Energize! said Picard and the pink bunny appeared...
* He's ALIVE, Jim. Where did I go wrong?
* He's dead, Jim. Cripes! Only 73$ & a box of Tic Tacs!
* He's dead, Jim. Funny-looking phaser... It says 'CNN'.
* He's dead, Jim. Poor devil. Grab his pitch fork, too.
* He's dead Jim, Spock took his tricorder, I got his spleen.
* He's dead, Jim. That helmet's a pretty blue.
* She's dead, Jim. Should we bury her or have some fun?
* She's dead, Jim. Still warm, though. Flip ya for her?
* The UART's won't take this speed, Captain
* Very funny, Scotty. Now beam up my clothes.
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